Memorable Quotes


This is an equal-opportunity quote page. By that I mean that I do my best to make fun of everyone (meaning both individuals and groups) equally.

In these quotes you're likely to find suggestions of sexism, racism, beastiality, prostitution, homosexuality, homophobia, foul language, alcoholism, various illegal acts, general bad taste, etc., etc., etc. Please try to keep in mind that these quotes were quite intentionally left without any of the relevant context as to the situation in which they were said.

As you read the following quotes, please keep in mind that just because I said something or found what someone else said humorous does NOT necessarily mean that I agree with it. I find "shock humor" to be a wonderful form of comedy. I am able to find some inherent humor in most of life, including situations that are entirely repugnant to my personal morality.

If you are at all unsure of your ability to maintain a sense of humor while reading these quotes, I would strongly encourage you to A) find your entertainment elsewhere; and B) chill out.

San Bruno (Spring/Summer 2001)

Terry: Brian, I'm truly sorry you have no penis, but taking it out on us just isn't right. [link]
Terry: I'm going to hit that shit, do my thing, and go home. [link]
Dwyer: These cinnamon balls are really good. [link]
Terry: I wonder how many milliliters they are  
Dwyer: (Barely contained snickering)  
Sean and Jeremy: (Blissful ignorance)  
Terry: Jeremy REALLY has the money shot going on. The rest of us are just tossing spare change. [link]
Dwyer: Playin' tiddlywinks with pennies.  
Terry: Jeremy, you wanna catch the movie with us? [link]
Jeremy J.: No thanks. A friend picked up tickets to the theater, so I'm going to that.  
Terry: ...Yeah, *you're* straight.  
Buttercup: I will never love again. [link]
Sheep: Bbbbbbbbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaa.  
Dwyer: (for Robin) On second thought....  

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