Memorable Quotes


This is an equal-opportunity quote page. By that I mean that I do my best to make fun of everyone (meaning both individuals and groups) equally.

In these quotes you're likely to find suggestions of sexism, racism, beastiality, prostitution, homosexuality, homophobia, foul language, alcoholism, various illegal acts, general bad taste, etc., etc., etc. Please try to keep in mind that these quotes were quite intentionally left without any of the relevant context as to the situation in which they were said.

As you read the following quotes, please keep in mind that just because I said something or found what someone else said humorous does NOT necessarily mean that I agree with it. I find "shock humor" to be a wonderful form of comedy. I am able to find some inherent humor in most of life, including situations that are entirely repugnant to my personal morality.

If you are at all unsure of your ability to maintain a sense of humor while reading these quotes, I would strongly encourage you to A) find your entertainment elsewhere; and B) chill out.

Cincinnati, Fall 2008

Terry: I figured you might want [vanity domain] to live in a nice, clean, upper-class internet neighborhood instead of a bullshit hostname attached to a ghetto-fabulous Charter cable modem IP in the internet equivalent of Compton. But, hey, no accounting for taste. [link]
Terry: Did you see that? What was that bright thing moving outside in our back yard? [link]
Amy: It's probably a radioactive squirrel or something.  
Terry: ...Amy, be honest: was that actually the first thought that sprung to your mind?  
Brad: A shotgun is an excellent mute button. [link]
Terry: You know you ate too much when you're winded just from eating dinner. [link]

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