Memorable Quotes

Disclaimer:

This is an equal-opportunity quote page. By that I mean that I do my best to make fun of everyone (meaning both individuals and groups) equally.

In these quotes you're likely to find suggestions of sexism, racism, beastiality, prostitution, homosexuality, homophobia, foul language, alcoholism, various illegal acts, general bad taste, etc., etc., etc. Please try to keep in mind that these quotes were quite intentionally left without any of the relevant context as to the situation in which they were said.

As you read the following quotes, please keep in mind that just because I said something or found what someone else said humorous does NOT necessarily mean that I agree with it. I find "shock humor" to be a wonderful form of comedy. I am able to find some inherent humor in most of life, including situations that are entirely repugnant to my personal morality.

If you are at all unsure of your ability to maintain a sense of humor while reading these quotes, I would strongly encourage you to A) find your entertainment elsewhere; and B) chill out.

Purdue, Fall 2001

 
Aiello: The code was flowing from my fingers faster than bullshit excuses from CS 180 students. [link]
 
Aiello: This is -- FUCK! [link]
Terry: ...Yeah, that's Dan announcing that it's a fuck, since he's so small the girls don't actually have a chance of, you know, FEELING IT.  
 
Brad: God DAMN it! Another null pointer. It seems like everything in my fucking LIFE is null these days. [link]
Terry: Great, now your sex life doesn't feel so lonely!  
 
Terry: I was too busy feeling my bowels loosening to point out algebra errors. [link]
 
Terry: Big-O notation? More like Bend-O(ver). [link]
 
Terry: I just stood up and my knee sounded like it was trying to audition for a Rice Krispies commercial. [link]
 
Brad: I think James is in love with my TA. It was love at first bitch. [link]
 
Terry: The CS 503 midterm was a smart bomb targeted for my rectum. [link]
 
Devina: I'm 23; I haven't been 24 for a couple of days. [link]
 
Brad: She's like training wheels for my cock. [link]
 
Terry: There's nothing better than making a God-lover hum on your cock. [link]
 
Terry: The definition of a successful college experience is a statutory rape charge. [link]
 
Brad: Holy shit, Dan! I think that's the first girl we've walked by all day that you haven't insulted! [link]
 
Aiello: You know what the difference between marriage and dating is? When you're dating you only pay for sex on the nights you get laid. When you're married you pay EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE. [link]
Brad: Yeah, I'm really finding this paying for sex thing is getting expensive.

*(At this point, Luda, one of Brad's female students, walks by and gives him a *very* weird look.)*
 
 
Brad: You thought he was a darkie, din'cha?!?!?!?!?!
(Brad's from the *DEEP* south)
[link]
 
Aiello: I'm just full of tasty treats tonight! [link]

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