Memorable Quotes


This is an equal-opportunity quote page. By that I mean that I do my best to make fun of everyone (meaning both individuals and groups) equally.

In these quotes you're likely to find suggestions of sexism, racism, beastiality, prostitution, homosexuality, homophobia, foul language, alcoholism, various illegal acts, general bad taste, etc., etc., etc. Please try to keep in mind that these quotes were quite intentionally left without any of the relevant context as to the situation in which they were said.

As you read the following quotes, please keep in mind that just because I said something or found what someone else said humorous does NOT necessarily mean that I agree with it. I find "shock humor" to be a wonderful form of comedy. I am able to find some inherent humor in most of life, including situations that are entirely repugnant to my personal morality.

If you are at all unsure of your ability to maintain a sense of humor while reading these quotes, I would strongly encourage you to A) find your entertainment elsewhere; and B) chill out.

Cincinnati, Winter 2009-10

(Name Withheld): I wonder if her throat is as flexible as her body. [link]
Terry: [He] is a god-damned poster child for why inbreeding is a bad idea. He serves as a warning to those who covet their cousins. [link]
Terry: That was one of the least-fun mental exercises I've done since I left Purdue.

I hope that the smoke from my brain burn doesn't set off the fire alarms. That'd be embarassing.
Terry: Headset is on, VOIP like you've never VOIP'ed before.

...Is it just me, or is VOIP just inherently dirty when used as a verb?
Joe R: I don't see why I'd need sensitivity training. My alter ego in Rock Band is a black man. [link]
Terry: Nice, you've got a brother inside you.


Wait, are we talking about Rock Band or your time in prison?

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