Memorable Quotes

Disclaimer:

This is an equal-opportunity quote page. By that I mean that I do my best to make fun of everyone (meaning both individuals and groups) equally.

In these quotes you're likely to find suggestions of sexism, racism, beastiality, prostitution, homosexuality, homophobia, foul language, alcoholism, various illegal acts, general bad taste, etc., etc., etc. Please try to keep in mind that these quotes were quite intentionally left without any of the relevant context as to the situation in which they were said.

As you read the following quotes, please keep in mind that just because I said something or found what someone else said humorous does NOT necessarily mean that I agree with it. I find "shock humor" to be a wonderful form of comedy. I am able to find some inherent humor in most of life, including situations that are entirely repugnant to my personal morality.

If you are at all unsure of your ability to maintain a sense of humor while reading these quotes, I would strongly encourage you to A) find your entertainment elsewhere; and B) chill out.

Cincinnati, Spring 2011

 
Brad: Being on overhead right now is a good way to catch an acute case of free time. [link]
 
Terry: God help you if you fly out of Terminal 2 at CVG.

They clearly haven't done any work in there since the 1960s, 70s at the *latest*.

It's like the Smitty's Grocery Store of airports. It's the Airport that Time Forgot. It's Jurassic Airport.
[link]
 
Terry: Well, if the power goes out tonight, guess we can't record Deadliest Catch. [link]
Amy: You can't record something when the power's out?  
Terry: No, Amy, how can the thing work with no power?  
Amy: I don't know how DirecTV works! It could record on a chip up in space for all I know!  

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