Memorable Quotes


This is an equal-opportunity quote page. By that I mean that I do my best to make fun of everyone (meaning both individuals and groups) equally.

In these quotes you're likely to find suggestions of sexism, racism, beastiality, prostitution, homosexuality, homophobia, foul language, alcoholism, various illegal acts, general bad taste, etc., etc., etc. Please try to keep in mind that these quotes were quite intentionally left without any of the relevant context as to the situation in which they were said.

As you read the following quotes, please keep in mind that just because I said something or found what someone else said humorous does NOT necessarily mean that I agree with it. I find "shock humor" to be a wonderful form of comedy. I am able to find some inherent humor in most of life, including situations that are entirely repugnant to my personal morality.

If you are at all unsure of your ability to maintain a sense of humor while reading these quotes, I would strongly encourage you to A) find your entertainment elsewhere; and B) chill out.

Northern Virginia, Fall 2016

Terry: I'm glad I managed to break the mental connection between the taste of Jimmy John's sandwiches and an overwhelming sense of exhaustion, frustration, depression, with occasional hints of panic. [link]
Brad: ...Sounds like my last relationship.  
Justin S.: This chat is like Godwin's law, but with sodomy instead of Nazis. [link]
Brad: What should he have said? That [she] is a virtual planetoid? [link]
Terry: Hey, now, that's not a bad thing; it gives her weight to cry off.  
Terry: So far we've talked about working with wood and putting meat in my mouth.

Pretty typical Monday for me, sadly.

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