Memorable Quotes

Disclaimer:

This is an equal-opportunity quote page. By that I mean that I do my best to make fun of everyone (meaning both individuals and groups) equally.

In these quotes you're likely to find suggestions of sexism, racism, beastiality, prostitution, homosexuality, homophobia, foul language, alcoholism, various illegal acts, general bad taste, etc., etc., etc. Please try to keep in mind that these quotes were quite intentionally left without any of the relevant context as to the situation in which they were said.

As you read the following quotes, please keep in mind that just because I said something or found what someone else said humorous does NOT necessarily mean that I agree with it. I find "shock humor" to be a wonderful form of comedy. I am able to find some inherent humor in most of life, including situations that are entirely repugnant to my personal morality.

If you are at all unsure of your ability to maintain a sense of humor while reading these quotes, I would strongly encourage you to A) find your entertainment elsewhere; and B) chill out.

Purdue, Fall 2002

 
Terry: Alright, everyone, say Oedipus on three! [link]
 
Nolandda: At least Kennedy had taste. He turned to the Secret Service and said 'Bring me the best.' [link]
 
Terry: FUUCK. You moved the computer, you shitbag. [link]
 
Molly: Don't apologize -- gangbangs are funny. [link]
 
Brad: SheMale.com -- it's like Russian Roulette with a cock. [link]
 
Brad: It's like a smokescreen. ...A fag screen! [link]
 
Terry: Oh, man, I got so drunk last night. [link]
Brad: Well, you said that Evie became dead to you last night. ...So it was sort of her wake.  
 
Terry: Well, that and you're busy trying to break up a Fankhauser marriage. [link]
Anne: We all need hobbies.  
 
Devina: You created me. How many people can say that? [link]
 
D'Agosta: Ender's Game is the Harry Potter of sci-fi. [link]
 
D'Agosta: So, I'll have somewhere to host all my save the world projects.... [link]
 
Terry: So, Devina, it's *your* fault the cute student nurse had to stick her finger up my ass. Thanks. Seriously, thanks. [link]
 
Pete R.: If only the Great Woodfin would go with that plan... although it sounds at times that when forced to choose between a sex kitten and a PLUG member's free hardware, Brad would find himself in a genuine decision-making deadlock ;) [link]
 
Terry: I wonder what the derivative of an assrape really is?

I'll be finding out tonight.
[link]
 
Terry: Yeah, that's really what this world needs to be 'interesting': more deranged people with weapons and the will to use them. [link]
 
Brad: What's so wrong with being a sociopath anyway? [link]
 
Terry: Let's do a little proactive crucifying here..... [link]
 
Devina: What is the statute of limitations on secrets? [link]
 
Terry: Close your eyes, click your heels, and boom! ...You're a postdoc. [link]
 
Terry: Wow, Devina, we're turning your dating life into a Choose Your Own Adventure story. [link]
 
(Name Withheld): I've only slept with three people... haven't I? [link]
 
Nolandda: We've got a B, a D, and an S. Now we just need an M. [link]
 
Yost: His pecs are bouncing.... I don't know whose tits to look at. [link]
 
Anne: I'm a fairly astute person when I'm stalking someone. [link]

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