Memorable Quotes

Disclaimer:

This is an equal-opportunity quote page. By that I mean that I do my best to make fun of everyone (meaning both individuals and groups) equally.

In these quotes you're likely to find suggestions of sexism, racism, beastiality, prostitution, homosexuality, homophobia, foul language, alcoholism, various illegal acts, general bad taste, etc., etc., etc. Please try to keep in mind that these quotes were quite intentionally left without any of the relevant context as to the situation in which they were said.

As you read the following quotes, please keep in mind that just because I said something or found what someone else said humorous does NOT necessarily mean that I agree with it. I find "shock humor" to be a wonderful form of comedy. I am able to find some inherent humor in most of life, including situations that are entirely repugnant to my personal morality.

If you are at all unsure of your ability to maintain a sense of humor while reading these quotes, I would strongly encourage you to A) find your entertainment elsewhere; and B) chill out.

Quotes said by Devina

 
Devina: I can't sleep without you, Terry. [link]
Terry: You can't sleep *with* me, either.  
 
Devina: No unplugging any more body parts. [link]
 
Devina: I'm 23; I haven't been 24 for a couple of days. [link]
 
Devina: A toast: 'Here is to hell; may the stay there be as fun as the way there.' [link]
 
Devina: You created me. How many people can say that? [link]
 
Devina: What is the statute of limitations on secrets? [link]
 
Devina: But I think that marriage should be forever. [link]
Terry: We all think that, and about 50% of us are wrong.  
 
Devina: The bun is neither meat nor cheese. [link]
Terry: ...I hate that bun.  
 
Devina: Terry's my instant score guy. [link]
 
Devina: Please tell me I don't have to bold your colon. [link]
 
Devina: Wow, am I decomposing? [link]
 
Devina: I have no doubt you're more than a mouthful. [link]
 
Devina: Well, it's not rape really. It's just statutory rape.
[link]
Terry: ...And that's better?  
 
Devina: Derek Jeter is an apostrophe. [link]
 
Devina: I'd knock the Jesus right outta him. [link]
 
Devina: Why doesn't everyone drink all the time? This is fun! [link]
 
Devina: We have to make sure she's talking to you first. [link]
Terry: ...You can't talk with a dick in your mouth.  
 
Devina: Alex is aspiring to be ... my dad.

Pretend I didn't say those words.
[link]
 
Devina: I'm a waffle, just a soggy waffle. [link]
 
Devina: ...And you're being snappish. --Wait, is "snappish" even a word? [link]
Terry: No, it's not a word, it's an adjective.  
Devina: So adjectives aren't words?  
 
Terry: I know it's Scott Brosius, but still. You wouldn't let him impregnate you, would you? [link]
Devina: If he'd be willing to marry me, I'd let him run a litter through me.  
 
Devina: I think Wembley grew up in Compton. Gunfire doesn't seem to bother him. [link]
 
Devina: OK, just prayed. What kind of lag time is there with God? [link]
 
Devina: Matt, are you still looking at porn on my phone? [link]
Sharkbait: No, I got off.  

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