Memorable Quotes

Disclaimer:

This is an equal-opportunity quote page. By that I mean that I do my best to make fun of everyone (meaning both individuals and groups) equally.

In these quotes you're likely to find suggestions of sexism, racism, beastiality, prostitution, homosexuality, homophobia, foul language, alcoholism, various illegal acts, general bad taste, etc., etc., etc. Please try to keep in mind that these quotes were quite intentionally left without any of the relevant context as to the situation in which they were said.

As you read the following quotes, please keep in mind that just because I said something or found what someone else said humorous does NOT necessarily mean that I agree with it. I find "shock humor" to be a wonderful form of comedy. I am able to find some inherent humor in most of life, including situations that are entirely repugnant to my personal morality.

If you are at all unsure of your ability to maintain a sense of humor while reading these quotes, I would strongly encourage you to A) find your entertainment elsewhere; and B) chill out.

Quotes said by Eric B.


Terry:	I think we're going to do well in hell. You know, get some positions with responsibility, maybe.	[link]
Eric B.:	Yeah. Grand Dragons or something.

Eric B.:	I've got another proverb for you: "People in glass houses fuck your mom."	[link]

Eric B.:	How do you get a 64-bit integer in C? Is it "long long"?	[link]
Terry:	Yeah, I think so. GCC can't handle "long long long," so if anything's going to do it it's "long long."
Eric B.:	That's good, because my dick's the only thing that's "long long long."

Eric B.:	Oh, man, a bladder infection isn't that big of a deal. It shouldn't stop the pounding.	[link]

Terry:	Dude, margaritas are girl drinks.	[link]
Eric B.:	Oh, whatever. They've got a ton of tequila in them. Even if they called them "Pink Fluffy Drinks, For Pussies Only" I'd drink them.

Eric B.:	(about Terry's stir-fry) Look, my tongue is bleeding.	[link]

Eric B.:	Your mom was good last night.	[link]
Terry:	Well, that's good to hear. She was really amped up about it. I heard she was doing stretching exercises and stuff yesterday morning to get ready for it.
Eric B.:	Well, it sure paid off; I was able to get my entire head up there. Simulating birth or something. ...Now we're brothers!

Mehlberg:	Terry's in an exceptional mood today.	[link]
Eric B.:	Yeah, his grandma finally got her dentures.

Eric B.:	It's not that it's small, it's just overactive.	[link]

Eric B.:	What's with the Bed, Bath & Beyond flier in the bathroom?	[link]
Terry:	You know, it's hard to take that shit from you, E.B.
Brad:	Look at your shoes, dude. They've got fucking BUCKLES on them. It's like gay velcro.

Terry:	Did you hear that Kristen is pregnant again? Is there a traditional gift you're supposed to give a new dad? A thing of wine or something?	[link]
Eric B.:	We should buy him a condom.

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