Memorable Quotes

Disclaimer:

This is an equal-opportunity quote page. By that I mean that I do my best to make fun of everyone (meaning both individuals and groups) equally.

In these quotes you're likely to find suggestions of sexism, racism, beastiality, prostitution, homosexuality, homophobia, foul language, alcoholism, various illegal acts, general bad taste, etc., etc., etc. Please try to keep in mind that these quotes were quite intentionally left without any of the relevant context as to the situation in which they were said.

As you read the following quotes, please keep in mind that just because I said something or found what someone else said humorous does NOT necessarily mean that I agree with it. I find "shock humor" to be a wonderful form of comedy. I am able to find some inherent humor in most of life, including situations that are entirely repugnant to my personal morality.

If you are at all unsure of your ability to maintain a sense of humor while reading these quotes, I would strongly encourage you to A) find your entertainment elsewhere; and B) chill out.

Quotes said by The Reverend Aaron Lehmann

 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: I've seen snatch. Snatch is good. [link]
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: She's the Dyke of Doom. [link]
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: Is that cow trying to kick its way out? [link]
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: You know, the Nazis really had no business sense. [link]
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: The Nazis could have been pharmacological giants. [link]
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: Having measured both with my two hands, I can say your cock is bigger than Lynn Hoffman's neck. [link]
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: Bitch, I'll fuck you until you're so swollen you're not loose anymore. [link]
 
Terry: Well, there could be a major without any students. [link]
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: That's called Jewish Studies.  
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: It's not Brad's fault; it's just that his gag reflex is stronger than his work ethic. [link]
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: Would you like a bite of my pinkness? [link]
 
Terry: I think we've found his weak spot [link]
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: ...The net?  
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: Thibault? That's like when a faggot tries to do Shakespeare. [link]
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: If I was casting for parts in a movie, I think I'd cast [Terry] as Winnie the Pooh. [link]
 
Terry: She has trouble with eye contact, and I find that so completely fetching. [link]
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: (Pause)

...I have trouble with eye contact.
 
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: Is that a penis or a bulldozer they shoved in my anus? [link]
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: I've come to a conclusion. You only exist if you have been recently contacted through indirect methods. You're like Schroedinger's Terry. [link]
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: You're the kind of guy who puts his lovers' spunk into the Cyclotron because he just wants the skeemen. [link]
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: I think I need to start going to church or something. [link]
Terry: God thinks so too.  
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: Yeah. And, more vocally, my mother.  
Terry: Yeah, but the hell she can put you through is significantly shorter in duration.

By about an infinity.
 
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: One day Soul Calibur time is like 15 years liver time. [link]
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: (responding to an email from Terry announcing a weekend of socializing, even though he lives in Virginia) I'd love to come, Terry, but that 14 hour commute is a killer. :-) [link]
Terry: The question isn't how far, the question is do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far as necessary?  
 
The Reverend Aaron Lehmann: I mean, the Mormon god doesn't lack dignity like the Pagan god, but He'll chuck a bit of precum now and again. [link]

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